So 7 years ago this May I stopped training. Completely. Largely because of a bone spur on the back of my heel that caused issues with my Achilles, and somewhat because the Goju Ryu school I was training at went through major transitions, somewhat because as a pastor I could not train at night (church stuff ya know) *and* I needed a break.

I didn’t intend to take a SEVEN YEAR BREAK but here I am.

So for 3 long years I limped, hopped, and ached with the bone spur and Achilles damage until I had surgery in June 2022. Just so you know, Dr. Matthew Cobb of Albuquerque Associated Podiatrists saved me. I will always steer people his way because he knows his shit and he does not sugar coat anything – all while empowering you to make the hard choices for yourself.

For the next 2 years, between PT and work and figuring out what living in New Mexico was all about – I still limped some, could not get my calves to loosen up, my left ankle and hip wouldn’t stop compensating and everything struggled to really heal completely. Walking at work and occasionally taking the dog for a walk was the most I could handle. Post menopause did not help at all – if you know, you know.

Then, shingles. Y’all. It literally took from Labor Day of 2024 to August of 2025 to really feel normal again. My case of shingles went internal – and I can still feel the nerve ley line fire up from time to time. IT SUCKED AND GET YOUR VACCINE.

By now I wondered if I was done with martial arts. Like for real. I even said it out loud. I gave my uniforms to a student who couldn’t afford to buy theirs. I kept my weapons but stored them away. I tucked away my belts in the closet. I had sooo many dreams of walking into the dojo and not knowing what was going on, wondering if anyone remembered me (sensei always did). For the most part, I was hurting so much and so busy I didn’t really take the time to figure it out other than this – I would never switch dojos again if I ever trained again.

Welp – a couple of things hit hard this last month that forced me to do that deep reflecting I’d avoided. I came to realize grief, depression, loss, and all the health challenges were massive amounts of switchbacks I didn’t know I was on. I just kept plodding. Thankfully, I got to the end of one and the aha moment hit – I have to start again. Not over – but anew. I am still a black belt. And – according to my sensei Thomas Williams of American Karate and Martial Science – white to black belt means you are learning how to learn, then black on means you are actually learning. And boy am I learning a lot right now.

Fast forward to today – I got my garage set up to train in and spent 30 min doing kihon and the first 3 kata. Slow, intense, focused, and just to taste it. I never gave either of my ankles a second thought. I did realize about 1/2 way through Taikyoku Shodan that I can pivot again, turn again, and not worry about my feet. OMG was I pumped! Sunrise!

So – here I am, overweight, 58 years old, out of shape, asthmatic, with no uniform, practicing in my garage. And a part of myself came into clear focus – I am not the same black belt I was 7 years ago. Nor will I be the same tomorrow. But I will always be a black belt. It is up to me what tomorrow’s version of me will be.

Reach one. Teach one.