We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.Step 1 of the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon
After thinking about all the things of the Church over which I am powerless (yesterday’s post), I ask … then, where IS my power?
My power lies in dismantling my OWN structures, ideologies, mis-interpretations, plays for power, racism, elitism, seduction with hierarchies, abuse, and so much more. I have a lot of work to do – and only I can do it.
My power lies in my voice. As I dismantle my own crap, I can write about what I discovered and ask questions. I can invite conversation. I can share different interpretations, offer alternate structures, and call out racism, misogyny, abuse of power, and point back to Jesus’ teachings and life. These are just a few of the things I can do with my voice.
My power lies in surrender. I didn’t cause the problems with the Church. I certainly can’t control them and I most definitely cannot cure the Church of its ills. Only my Higher Power can – when I surrender what I cannot control to God (what I call my Higher Power), then I find the power to focus on myself and my side of the street.
My power lies in my choices. I have many from which to choose (not an exhaustive list):
- refrain from knee-jerk reacting (one of my go-to responses under stress)
- wait for more to be revealed (respond, not react)
- trust that what I need to know will appear *when* I need to know it
- keep letting go of what isn’t mine – empowering others in their dignity to do their own work
- detach with love – remembering it’s not my job to rescue the Church
- remembering I always have a choice in how I respond
My power lies in my communities – Al-Anon group meetings and other groups in which I participate for growth. I am my best self when I am with folks who love me, critique me, challenge me, and encourage me – especially folks who want nothing more than me to be all I was created to be. Isolating is a choice I cannot afford to make to keep my sanity and serenity.
Yes, I am powerless over the Church. I am NOT powerless.
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